Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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