I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
