Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
