You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
