You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize