I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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