Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
