yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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