Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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