It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
