I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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