Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
