So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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