How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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