we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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