Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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