I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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