doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
