Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
