this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
