You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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