I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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