ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
