I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
