She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
