Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize