I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
