Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize