The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Blood and glitter go together right?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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