My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
