You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize