I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
