in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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