Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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