You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
