I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
