I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Even my vagina gasped.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize