I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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