so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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