So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
