we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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