respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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