whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
