New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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