his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I touched a dick in church today
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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