are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
