I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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