That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
