he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
