They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
