Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize