i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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