The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize