White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
