I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
