Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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