You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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