After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
