I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize