so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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