shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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