they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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