what if every blade of grass was a penis?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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