Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
