we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
