All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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