Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
