I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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