Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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