dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
